Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace
Action, Fantasy, Sci Fi November 1st, 2007
Do you remember how exciting it was when Star Wars Episode 1 came out? Even if it wasn’t as good as the original three, it couldn’t be too bad, right? Mesa no think so. Episode 1 is even the worst of the three newest Star Wars. There were a lot of awful things that I hadn’t remembered. In case you forget, here’s my short list:
1. Why does fake Queen Amidala talk in that weird deep robot voice? Is it so we can’t tell that it isn’t Natalie Portman even though we can see her standing to the side of the fake queen in every scene?
2. Why is Anakin so freaking creepy? He seems more evil as an 8 year old then as Darth Vader. It is almost a relief when he grows up ito the other creepy guy.
3. The not so subtle focus on the Senator Palpatine while Mace Windu says, ” But which one was destroyed, the
master or the apprentice?”
3.
ANAKIN Master, sir... I've been wondering... what are midi-chlorians?QUI-GON Midi-chlorians are a microcopic lifeform that reside within all living cells and communicates with the Force.
ANAKIN They live inside of me?
QUI-GON In your cells. We are symbionts with the midi-chlorians. ANAKIN Symbionts? QUI-GON Life forms living together for mutual advantage. Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to you, telling you the will of the Force. ANAKIN They do?? QUI-GON When you learn to quiet your mind, you will hear them speaking to you. ANAKIN I don't understand QUI-GON With time and training, Annie...you will.
(Image from http://flickr.com/photos/fototherapist/476785165/)
November 20th, 2007 at 10:43 am
I just watched this again. From the beginning. I guess you can tell I am really depressed. The things I found so annoying about the movie, the first time I saw it–the accents of the spare part flying thing (Jewish I thought) and the Trade federation people (Japanese?) were less offensive because I knew about it. The midi-chondrians (how the hell can Lucas make the Force be a definite thing rather than something accessible to everyone?) and the immaculate conception just went right past me this time. Of course, any time Jar Jar is on screen is a minus and his king isn’t much better even if it is the voice of (Augustus Cesar in I Claudius)–wait, all those things are really annoying. But this time I saw it as Qui Gon’s movie, and those aspects were good. Actually, the scene were they drive through the core and each monster that is about to devour them is devoured in turn is also pretty bad and the whole battle scene where jar jar offers comic relief isn’t good either. C3PO and R2D2 are the best comic relief characters in the series and nothing came close.