The other day James and I watched Sabretooth on the SciFi channel.Â The movie has something to do with a sabretooth tiger and some hikers.Â There’s a guy with lots of hunting gear and of course some hot ladies.Â The biggest surprise for me was that John Rhys-Davies was in the movie.Â Why would John Rhys Davies, who played Gimli the dwarf in Lord of the Rings and Sallah in Indiana Jones, be in this horrible made for tv movie?Â I looked up his filography and apparently Rhys-Davies is only in horrible movies.Â He’s in movies that are so bad, you didn’t even know they could possibly exist. Â Anaconda 3 – check.Â Anaconda 4 – check.Â The Legend of Sasquatch, Chupacabra Terror, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement – check, check, check.Â I feel so confused.Â Were LoTR and Indiana Jones only good by accident?
I’ve watched Disturbia a few times in the last couple of weeks.Â The first time I was alone and scared.Â The second time I was bored.Â The third time I watched, I just yelled out George Washington every time the creepy serial killer neighbor played by David Morse Morse showed up.Â David Morse plays George Washington in the new HBO “John Adams” miniseries.Â I know actors have to play a lot of roles, but shouldn’t the casting agent put more thought into previous roles? Â This is George Washington for goodness sakes… and David Morse has played creepy bad guys in 9 out of 10 movies (with one role as Abraham Lincoln, hmmmm).
Viggo Mortensen is like a fortunately unfortunately story. A fortunately unfortunately story is a book where the plot is alternating positive and negative events. My sister wrote one in elementary school and it has really set my understanding of the genre. Anyway, Viggo is fortunately unfortunately. Unfortunately he was in G.I. Jane. Fortunately he was the hot guy in A Walk on the Moon. Fortunately he was Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies. Unfortunately he was in A History of Violence, but fortunately… he was in Eastern Promises. What a crazy f-ed up movie. Any actor or director that would go for a naked fight scene really has something crazy going on. His next movie is really going to be horrible because Eastern Promises was so good. Good thing he has five movies in the works.
I think Vincent D’Onofrio is the best actor with the worst roles.Â You can feel him in crappy movies like The Break-Up yearning for a better role.Â Like if he brings greatness to this crap someone will offer him another Full Metal Jacket.Â His IMDB bio calls him “an actor’s actor” aka a great actor with terrible roles.
So, the other night I played one of my favorite movies, Trading Places, on demand.Â I have never watched Trading Places other than when it is just playing on regular tv.Â What I realized watching the movie on HBO is that, they f-ing curse a lot in that movie.Â I never even realized because it isÂ always dubbed over with silly words.Â Also, Jamie Lee Curtis gets naked in the real version. Â She’s pretty amazingly hot.Â I kind of wanted to rewind to see her again, but I thought that might be a little weird even though I was watching by myself.Â So… put it on your lists, the unedited version of Trading Places.
Maybe it is all the bad movies I have been watching lately or because James has been away too long, but I just watch The Interpreter and I didn’t even think it sucked.Â Normally I hate Nicole Kidman (although she smiled at me at the gym once) and I usually refer to Sean Penn as a windy gas bag, but they were both fine.Â I think it was the first Sean Penn movie where I haven’t thought about Spicoli.Â Well, except for when I thought about how I hadn’t thought about him.Â So, I guess I better give Sean Penn a second chance.Â That’s a lot of movies to watch.
I saw In Bruges at Sundance in a gorgeous theater in Salt Lake City.Â The movie is cute enough with two hit men hiding out in Bruges, Belgium.Â I’m a little embarrassed to say that I was most excited when I recognized that the character Ken is played by Brendan Gleeson.Â Besides being William Wallace’s best buddy in Braveheart, Brendan Gleeson also plays Mad Eyed Moody in the Harry Potter series.Â Imagine how excited I was when the hit men’s boss shows up and it is Lord Voldemort himself.Â Finally, a showdown between Mad Eyed Moody and the dark lord.Â I won’t tell you what happens, but I will tell you there is also a dwarf in the movie.Â Oh and Colin Farrell is in it to.Â Luckily (for everyone) Colin Farrell has never been in a Harry Potter movie.