I was watching the end of The Day the Earth Stood Still (Keanu version) today and I was thinking that Klaatu (yes, that is Keanu’s character’s name) has the worst assignment. He has to come to this stupid planet, hang out with this lady’s obnoxious kid, and then brave little metal insects eating him to save this lady and her kid. As an aside, this is Jaden Smith’s worst acting to date. Of course he is in the new Karate Kid so… stay tuned. Anyway, I was thinking that Klaatu really got the short end of the stick when I thought about Don Draper’s role in the movie. He heroically offers to go with lady into danger, five minutes later gets hit with a missile while driving her in a giant Escalade, and gets left in the Escalade to be eaten by little metal insects. I guess everyone is pretty unlucky to be in the movie.
Everyone knows that the main reason to live in New York City is that in the case that a zombie-creating virus takes over the city and you survive, you can totally claim a brownstone on Washington Square North. What other reason is there to put up with all the cockroaches and drunks living on your stoop? But I recently learned that the building that Dr. Robert Neville lives in with his dog in I Am Legend isn’t even a brownstone. The facade looks like a brownstone, but inside it is just apartments for NYU faculty. It looks just like every other crappy apartment in the the city. What am I doing still living here?
I am starting a Calculus class on Thursday at a CUNY school. When I decided on enrolling, I thought why have I overlooked this great NY resource for a decade? I could have been taking inexpensive classes for years. Then I went through the bureaucracy of trying to enroll. I am almost there, after 1 trip to NYU health services, 1 trip to the Baruch registrar, 2 trips to Baruch admissions and several emails and calls. Now I am watching Good Will Hunting and I’m wondering what was I thinking? I aint no super genius. In fact looking over my high school transcript, math classes were the only classes I got Bs in. Well except for gym class once, but I swear that was just ill will and not my nerddom. I was a fit nerd. Anyways, I just looked up the syllabus and apparently there is homework before the class starts on Thursday and I can’t even understand the homework assignment:
The appendix is only available at the publishers web site http://college.hmco.com
1 P. D8: 1, 3, 5, 15, 29, 45, 49, 59
2 P. D15: 1, 7, 9, 17, 29, 33, 35, 45
3 P. 8: 3, 5, 7, 9, 30, 53, 54, 61, 62
4 P. 16: 1-7 odd, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 25, 39, 40, 43, 44, 45
5 P. 27: 1-11 odd, 13-18, 25-28, 39, 41, 42, 59, 61, 62
This is going to be a long semester.
I went to see Moon yesterday after the Gold Coast race. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about it given that the whole cast is basically Sam Rockwell. If I was casting a movie with one actor I wouldn’t really think Sam Rockwell. But he works it, he is pretty good. Anyway, Peter Rainer from the Christian Science Monitor says, “It just may be the most boring movie ever made — period.” That’s true too. It was pretty hard to stay awake. Don’t go after getting up at 4:45 AM and running/cycling/running a race. I guess Peter Rainer is in a tri club too.
I remember how excited I was to see Jurassic Park when it came out. I was around 15 and I went by myself. I can’t really remember how I got to the movies by myself when I was 15, but I am pretty sure I went by myself. Jurassic Park was my first experience going to see the movie version of a book I loved. Of course since then I have had the opportunity for many disappointments (The Watchmen, anyone?), but this was my first. I remember being really upset that they made the girl dumb and the boy smart even though in the book the girl was smart… sexism! So, the other day when Jurassic Park was on tv I was surprised to realize that the movie is not sexist, it is all about sex… sexy Jeff Goldblum that is. Every other shot is Jeff Goldblum with his shirt unbuttoned, reclining, explaining chaos theory. It makes adult Michelle feel confused. I am not sure what to think about Jurassic Park now.
I know that there are lots of things about Minority Report that aren’t necessarily realistic, and I can forgive most of them, but why do they not turn off the security permissions for Tom Cruise’s character’s eyeballs? It get him into the temple to kidnap Agatha and and later it gets his wife in to rescue him. No wonder there is such a market for eyeball transplants, eyeballs are so valuable. I wonder if all the burglars carry around a bunch of eyeballs on a keychain in their pockets? They can’t kill anyone, but they sure can rob folks. Future hackers take note, stop whatever you are doing and go to optometry school immediately.
After the Brooklyn Biathlon on Sunday, I came into the living room and a horrible sci fi movie was starting on tv.Â A sheriff was in a row boat trying to pull someone out of a lake amid a lot of thrashing about.Â The sheriff finally pulled the man into the boat only to find that he was missing half his torso and his legs.Â Gross!Â But something aout this horrible sci fi movie was different.Â The sheriff was played by Brendan Gleeson who you may know from such movies as Braveheart and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.Â This movie, Lake Placid, was one of those rare mainstream sci fi creature movies with an all star cast including Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt and Betty White.Â These are a different breed of monster movie because they pay the stars too much to kill them off one by one (I guess the actors in Deep Blue Sea cost less) so they need to have more story.Â It was a nice change of pace from last week’s Sabretooth.
The other day James and I watched Sabretooth on the SciFi channel.Â The movie has something to do with a sabretooth tiger and some hikers.Â There’s a guy with lots of hunting gear and of course some hot ladies.Â The biggest surprise for me was that John Rhys-Davies was in the movie.Â Why would John Rhys Davies, who played Gimli the dwarf in Lord of the Rings and Sallah in Indiana Jones, be in this horrible made for tv movie?Â I looked up his filography and apparently Rhys-Davies is only in horrible movies.Â He’s in movies that are so bad, you didn’t even know they could possibly exist. Â Anaconda 3 – check.Â Anaconda 4 – check.Â The Legend of Sasquatch, Chupacabra Terror, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement – check, check, check.Â I feel so confused.Â Were LoTR and Indiana Jones only good by accident?
Galaxy Quest is one of those movies that you have such low expectations for that you end up enjoying it… even after you have seen it a few hundred times it still works. I remember when I first saw it, I was at my parents’ house and my mom told me to watch it. I was young and innocent then. It was before I knew that Sam Rockwell is annoying or that Alan Rickman is dreamy. I wonder if this blog is making my taste in men seem pretty weird? Anyway, what’s not to like about this movie? It’s also got Tony Shalhoub (always a winner for me), Sigourney Weaver (super hot @ 50) and Tim Allen (can’t really say I feel one way or another about Tim). Perfect movie for after the perfect movie for after the Cockroach Invasion of 2007 (at least, I hope the invasion is over).
Image Galaxy Quest originally uploaded by WezlArt
Do you remember how exciting it was when Star Wars Episode 1 came out? Even if it wasn’t as good as the original three, it couldn’t be too bad, right? Mesa no think so. Episode 1 is even the worst of the three newest Star Wars. There were a lot of awful things that I hadn’t remembered. In case you forget, here’s my short list:
1. Why does fake Queen Amidala talk in that weird deep robot voice? Is it so we can’t tell that it isn’t Natalie Portman even though we can see her standing to the side of the fake queen in every scene?
2. Why is Anakin so freaking creepy? He seems more evil as an 8 year old then as Darth Vader. It is almost a relief when he grows up ito the other creepy guy.
3. The not so subtle focus on the Senator Palpatine while Mace Windu says, ” But which one was destroyed, the
master or the apprentice?”
ANAKIN Master, sir... I've been wondering... what are midi-chlorians?QUI-GON Midi-chlorians are a microcopic lifeform that reside within all living cells and communicates with the Force.
ANAKIN They live inside of me?
QUI-GON In your cells. We are symbionts with the midi-chlorians. ANAKIN Symbionts? QUI-GON Life forms living together for mutual advantage. Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to you, telling you the will of the Force. ANAKIN They do?? QUI-GON When you learn to quiet your mind, you will hear them speaking to you. ANAKIN I don't understand QUI-GON With time and training, Annie...you will.
(Image from http://flickr.com/photos/fototherapist/476785165/)