The problem with Out of Time is who could ever believe that anyone could pull one over on Denzel? Even if Denzel is playing someone really un-Denzel-like. He’s still Denzel in the movie because there is a definite moment of Denzel involving a parrot.
I have watched The Princess Bride way more times than I care to admit. It came out when I was 10 and my parents, who didn’t understand watching a movie more than one time, completely indulged my love of it. I remember that I stopped counting how many times I saw it around the 11th time. In my senior year of high school, we were given an assignment to write an original short story in AP English. This was our reward for a year of writing expository essays once a week. At least three people in class wrote new chapters to The Princess Bride. I had no idea that such a thing as fan fiction even existed. I immediately realized how close to being a huge dork I had unwittingly been. I have since hid my knowledge of The Princess Bride (and Monty Python for that matter). Of course I ended up as a software developer, but that is another story. Anyway, I am watching it again right now. Seriously though, how come Princess Buttercup can’t recognize Westley with the pirate mask on?
I know that there are lots of things about Minority Report that aren’t necessarily realistic, and I can forgive most of them, but why do they not turn off the security permissions for Tom Cruise’s character’s eyeballs? It get him into the temple to kidnap Agatha and and later it gets his wife in to rescue him. No wonder there is such a market for eyeball transplants, eyeballs are so valuable. I wonder if all the burglars carry around a bunch of eyeballs on a keychain in their pockets? They can’t kill anyone, but they sure can rob folks. Future hackers take note, stop whatever you are doing and go to optometry school immediately.
I went for a run on Saturday even though it was pretty cold out. I dressed very carefully, but once I was outside the weather was perfect for running. I even took my gloves off. At some point towards the very end of my run, the temperature started dropping. It felt like the scene in The Day After Tomorrow where they eye of the anti-hurricane is passing over New York and everyone has to race inside to the fire before the super cold gets to them. Of course I had just re-watched The Day After Tomorrow in an orgy of self-pitying movie watching, which is why I was forcing myself to go running in the first place. I ran the last half mile as a sprint imagining that I had to get back with antibiotics to save the high school debate team that was dying in my apartment. Well that’s not true. I ran the last half mile pretty leisurely thinking it would be funny to do that. Damn it got cold out.
Hamlet 2 is a pretty good stay home on a Friday night movie. The story of a hapless teacher who just wants to put on plays inspired by movies is pretty funny. But then following it up on Saturday with Half Nelson, the story of a hapless teacher that just wants to smoke crack undid some of the magic. It was a good movie, but long with a lot of crack smoking. I never though I would say this, but I would rather have a musical number of “Rock Me Sexy Jesus.” Critics do not agree.
Here are some movies I am excited to see in the theater in 2009:
Watchmen – opens March 6. I already signed up for ticket text alerts!
X-Men Origins: Wolverine – opens May 1. I have a major soft spot for Wolverine and pretty much anyone with adamantium features.
Terminator: Salvation – May 22. Why not?
Public Enemies – July 1. Johnny Depp versus Christian Bale!
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – opens July 17. Finally, some stuff is really going to happen. Horcruxes anyone?
Sherlock Holmes – November 13. By Guy Ritchie and filmed in Brooklyn. Sounds interesting.
Here are some strange ones I found…
Inglourious Basterds – Quentin Tarantino movie about Jewish soldiers brutally scalping and killing Nazis. It has Brad Pitt and Mike Myers in it. Is this a joke?
The Informant – A spy thriller with Matt Damon and Scott Bakula! Scott Bakula!
Old Dogs – John Travolta, Robin Williams “The dynamic duo co-star as close business partners’ whose lives are turned upside down when 7 year-old twins are left in their care.” Of course! There hasn’t been a movie like this since 2007’s The Game Plan. How have we gone so long?
I was watching The Breakfast Club the other day and I realized that all of my problems come from that movie. I used to think it was Sixteen Candles, but now I know the truth. Why does Molly Ringwald’s character end up with Judd Nelson? Judd Nelson, seriously? I can just hear her telling her parents… “well his mom is the lunch lady and his dad ran off when he was a kid. he is really smart, but he does bad in school because the teachers just don’t like him.” The movie should end with all of the girls going out with Anthony Michael Hall. First of all, we know he fills out as he gets a little older. Second, you should always pick the smart guy. So what that he brought a gun to school? This guy is going to make bank. Keep in mind, he is the only one that actually writes the essay assignment at the end. This guy knows how to finish stuff.
I watched The Jane Austen Book Club with my mom, brother and sister-in-law over the holidays.Â I put up a good front against the cuteness of it all, but I did end up ordering Sense and Sensibility from my book swap anyway.Â At the end of the movie, the one male character in the movie mentions starting a Patrick O’Brian book club and the ladies ignore him.Â I have to say that a Patrick O’Brian book club is a great idea.Â I’m about to start reading the 7th book in the series and I can’t get enough.Â Every meeting would be like, “woah, that Jack Aubrey kicks ass…”Â We wouldn’t even have to be reading the same book, the conversation would still make sense.Â Who’s in?
(image Miss Cassandra Austen and The Jane Austen Book Club originally uploaded by Pesky Library)
You know how you will be watching a movie on TBS or some channel like that and the next movie on will have one of the same actors in it? Whenever I watch a movie that has an actor in common with the last movie I watched (the same day), I call it a twofer. Sometimes I will watch a movie on another channel just because it would be a twofer. Anyway… I have noticed that books are almost always thematic twofers. For example, I was reading Midnight’s Children, which takes place in India and involves a pickle factory owner. Next, I read The God of Small Things about twins in India whose grandmother owns Paradise Pickles. After that, I read Gob’s Grief about twin brothers during the Civil War. One dies and the other dedicates his life to building a machine to bring him back. Do I just notice these threads because brains are made to make connections? Maybe most books have twins, India and pickles so it is just laws of averages. Anyway, I am almost done Gob’s Grief so we will see if the streak continues.
P.S. I Love You is just a depressing movie. Hilary Swank gives me the heeby jeebies.Â My friend recommended it to me, but she is very Irish.Â P.S. I Love You is very Irish also even though the lead actor Gerard Butler is actually Scottish.Â Not that I can actually tell the Irish and the Scottish apart.Â Anyway, again in a romantic movie the characters have to kiss to realize that they don’t love each other.Â Really?Â Someone has been harboring feelings for someone for so long and then they kiss them and say, “Oh never mind.”Â If that works, I am just going to start kissing everyone.Â You never know when sparks are going to fly.